Shedding Snake Skins

Garden snakes were hunted down and killed; my brothers and I then held funerals. We were bored kids living way out in the sticks…bored and needed entertainment. All of us were fascinated in a very morbid way with the well just outside of our house. Snakes slithered in and out of that well where we obtained our drinking water. Occasionally, pieces of snake skin would appear floating in the glass of water as it was poured out from the kitchen faucet. My father would begrudgingly trudge out to the well with a container of bleach to disinfect the drinking water. I thought that was just the way it was, even though somehow, within my being, I knew something was wrong.

I grew up with those garden snake varieties. In my neck of the woods, we didn’t have poisonous snakes, so we were never taught how to recognize different types of snakes, where they dwelled, their behaviors, or the antidote if one happened to get bit.

That’s just the way I grew up. My brothers killed the snakes, and I watched, cringing as the victimized snakes agonizingly writhed in the throes of death. We then had funeral processions, walking them to the creek for burial in a watery grave. We sang hymns that we learned while attending church with our mother. We were solemn-faced and dead serious, no pun intended!

As a youngster, my father took the whole family on vacation. We drove thousands of miles across the country to the great western states. As we stepped outside of our old station wagon in Arizona, my father cautioned us about rattlesnakes that hid under rocks. He informed us that they would rattle their tails if they felt threatened. They would strike if the warning were not heeded, sinking their sharp fangs into one’s legs. Their venom was deadly. One would die from their bites. “Pay close attention,” he cautioned.

Varieties of snakes are found in different areas of the United States. While living in central Florida, I was appalled when I learned that deadly water moccasins lived right outside my little trailer. I would never have known if the neighbor had not bragged about shooting one with his gun. He saw the expression of shock on my face and proceeded to inform me of the snakes living in Florida. Water moccasins slithered right outside my door on the canal behind my residence.

At that time, I was married to husband number three. I had yet to learn about Narcissism. I also was still ignorant about demonic possession and oppression. The church at large did not teach about such things. I had a great awareness about substance abuse. As a recovering addict, I knew all about addiction firsthand. I also obtained a degree in Substance Abuse Counseling and a substance abuse counselor credential. I had worked in a hospital as a therapist in a unit for mentally ill and chemically addicted patients. Therefore, I knew about mental illness… my then-husband suffered from bipolar and heroin addiction. My insight told me that was just surface stuff. The deeper stuff most therapists were not equipped to see, let alone diagnose properly. (Narcissism and C-PTSD were not even considered.)

As with husband number two, he refused to get the help he needed. He was a master of manipulation who knew how to work with people, even therapists. He met his match in me. I saw through him eventually. That marriage was short-lived. I would not allow him to continue to sway me. When he kicked me out for the fourth time so he could use drugs again and have another affair, I never returned. However, he managed to continue to sway others, costing them dearly. He is gone now, he died an agonizing death as a result of years of playing with the needle and not getting honest with the therapists about the underlying issues that plagued him, the very things that that turned him into a dangerous snake.

I came back to New York, still stunned by his venom. It took quite a while for me to detox from it. I went on with my life. I dated a man for a short time. It was a long-distance relationship. When he came to visit, I saw the behaviors and broke them off before he could damage me.

I stayed alone for quite a while. Then I met a man. Quiet. Gentle. A gentleman. Financially stable. Long-term clean time. Very intelligent. Seemingly respectful to his mother and other women. A man who appeared to be seeking a relationship with his Creator.

“Surely this one is what he professes to be,” I thought. Cautiously, I took him around all my friends and church family. They ALL oohed and ahhed over him. Being SO happy for me, they encouraged me to walk forward with this one. “Oh” they all exclaimed, “you have been through so much heart ache and pain in your life, you deserve to be loved and cherished. He is perfect for you, you won’t have to work so hard to provide for yourself now”. “What a gift from God,” I heard. “Finally, a man that will treat you as you deserve,” another proclaimed. Deep within me, something did not sit well, but I listened to others rather than my God-given gut instincts. After all, my picker was broken, so I needed others to see things I could not. I needed snake detectors. They, too, were not trained to detect snake behavior.

He became husband number four.

We arrived at my new home after a two-week honeymoon consisting of touring places in Florida, such as Naples and Key West. In Naples, he took me shopping at an expensive high-end store. I felt like a princess for the first time. As the sales lady took us around the store, she showed us all the designer clothing, all so beautiful and so very expensive. No matter to him. He sat while I modeled the clothes; the money he had spent on me was outrageous. He sat in that high-end store chair like a king, and I was his princess bride. I thought I had finally put my horrid past behind me, and now, “I am blessed with a husband who will truly love and cherish me.” I thought to myself. Relieved that the hard life was finally over, years of trauma, the death of my son, heartaches untold were finally over and now I could have a life full love.

It started to unravel the first night back after the extravagant honeymoon quickly. Strange behaviors were exhibited, but I tried to ignore them. I was ignored nightly. I sat alone night after night in HIS living room while he remained in the kitchen on the computer. Night after night. I was ignored completely; gone was the romance. As he was plastered to the computer screen nightly, I began to wonder if it was me, was I expecting too much? Why would a newly married man ignore his bride? Why would he not come to bed when I retired to the bedroom? I knew something was not right. And, I had a horrible feeling that I knew what was amiss.

When I found the porn I was broken beyond words. It was a repeat from the previous husband. Upon showing him why I was having an emotional melt down, his other side came out in full force. The verbal assault on my character left me numb and dumbfounded. All the things I had shared with him while dating came out of his mouth in such hurtful ways I was struck numb. All the horrible things I had suffered and shared with him while we were engaged became a weapon of destruction. All the wonderful qualities I possessed and he supposedly adored about me slowly were eroded by his evilness. This became his pattern of behavior. Twisted communication, assaults on my personhood, belittling me, shaming me, intimidating me. Within four months I sought help from a therapist. I knew he had some very serious issues, therefore I invited him into a session with her. He became her client also. Very unethical and unprofessional on her part. However, at first I was just so happy he was seeing someone and getting help. He told her some of the things he was doing to me. She asked me how I handled it, I told her “I leave, I get into my car and I leave, I am not putting up with that bullshit after everything I have gone through in my life”. She then informed me that I was to stay and face the issues in my marriage, that I needed to stop running, that I had run all my life. (yea! with good reason!) That was a major red flag that she was incompetent and dangerous to my well being. The two colluded together. They spoke the same lingo. Snake in the grass…I was trying to survive and learn a new language. After two years he went to another so called counselor that he manipulated also. They were not trained to deal with snakes. They, too, were snake charmers. The male “therapist” also spoke snake language from the start. He, too, verbally assaulted me calling me a murderer because I stood up to the snake husband. Snakes do not like to be called out on their venomous biting behaviors…..

By the time the six-year marriage was over, I was thoroughly toxic from the snake venom. It has taken me two years to detox. When there has been contact, it is the same twisting of words, the same gaslighting maneuvers discounting the abuse heaped on me. In his blame-shifting, he has incredibly stealthy ways of making me look like the crazy one. Accusations of being borderline, delusional, and crazy all became the smoke and mirrors way of him convincing everyone that I was the abuser. Little did they know what the truth was. I even questioned my sanity at times. If it were not for websites like ‘A Cry for Justice,’ I would have gone through with the suicidal ideation.

You see, I was trained to be a snake charmer by my dear mother, who also was trained to handle snakes. We who grew up in snake pits understand snake behavior and become desensitized. Believing it is expected, we do not understand the spell we live under. We somehow become immune to the venom of their words, beatings, taunts, and bullying. We build up an immunity to it; therefore, those looking on fail to understand that we are under the mesmerizing dance of snakes like the King Cobra.

However, humans were created to live in a different terrain than snakes. We were never intended to live in snake pits or to be snake charmers. We are created for so much more.

I have had to educate myself on snake language, behaviors, and venomous effects. I cannot be around those who have bitten me in the past, as they know just what to say or do to manipulate me. I am no match for a hypnotizing snake.

Neither was Eve. The serpent in the garden deceitfully manipulated her into believing that if she just tried the fruit, she would become like God, knowing good and evil. Appealing to her God-given role as ‘ezer kenegdo (Hebrew for help mate) as nourishers, guides, and boundary-setters (Guardian Angel by Skip Moen D. Phil. pg11), he was crafty enough to know he needed to take her out first before going after Adam…then his masterful plan would be fulfilled. He knew just what to say to entice her to partake of the fruit, which Yahweh told Adam not to eat. He knew if he could persuade her, her choice would give him power to control her world and that of Adam and future generations.

Today, we have a world full of snakes and snake charmers. We have all been bitten, and most do not know they are suffering from the numbing effects of the venom. The spell continues in churches, synagogues, government buildings, schools, and organizations. Some snakes devour other snakes.

A brood of vipers, as Yeshua called them. They are everywhere one goes. The only way out of the snake pit is to heed the voice of One calling out to you in the wilderness, the desert, and the pits. Come out from among them, He says. (2 Corinthians 6:17). The One calling out is Yahweh, the Creator. He never intended for any of His creations to be snake pit dwellers, snake charmers, or to remain numb from the effects of its mind-numbing, life-destroying venom. His blood is the only antidote. But one needs to recognize that they need His cure for the mesmerizing, hypnotic effects of the bite of sin we are all under. (1 John 1:7)